


Fall Back And I'll Catch You

by Bird_Of_Scarlet



Series: Gifts to friends :D [1]
Category: Escape the Night (Web Series)
Genre: (lots of feels), Aftermath, Also yeah this is a Christmas gift oop love ya Alina, Colleen's not okay either, Coping, F/F, I've emotionally drained Saf more than usual, This is kinda angsty, hoooooooo boy, mellow angst, oh boy, pinch of angst, snuggles, this was something to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-01 17:17:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17248259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bird_Of_Scarlet/pseuds/Bird_Of_Scarlet
Summary: "Thanks for being here...""Go to sleep Colleen... And thank you too..."-A Christmas Gift for Alina/Unoriginal_Username, my possessed partner in crime. I hope you like it.Prompts: Survivors Safleen





	Fall Back And I'll Catch You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Unoriginal_Username](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unoriginal_Username/gifts).



> Just a lil note, the death order in this up until ep six is the same as A Hero and His Maiden, and then I switched it a little after that to get our final three.
> 
> Also I know this is a little late for a Christmas gift, and the others are gonna be later but oop I'm v tired oh boy

_Sometimes words don't need to be spoken._

_Sometimes just being there is enough._

Safiya couldn't count the number of times she'd found herself with that girl curled up in her arms, it's the way most interactions between the two had ended since that night. If she'd expected comfort to come from anywhere, her first guess wouldn't have been Colleen. Despite this, with Matt slowly detaching himself from them in order to research that crystal he'd acquired, the two girls had come together, holding each other together when times got difficult.

_Which was often._

Even after months of therapy, Colleen never seemed to be getting much better. She was lucky to get over a couple hours sleep a night, whether that was from the nightmares or the need to keep at least one light on in the room at all times, Safiya wasn't sure. Overall, she didn't mind. She usually read, one hand turning the pages, her other arm wrapped around her companion's shoulders, who'd curled in close to the taller girl's side, clinging to the warmth she provided.

-

_“Safiya?”_

_“Mhmm.”_

_“If your leg got cut off, would it hurt?”_

_“What?”_

_“Would getting your leg cut off hurt?”_

_“Obviously, Colleen it’s late-”_

_“How?”_

_“I’m sorry, how?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“Because your leg got cut off.”_

_“But where does it hurt? Huh? In your leg? No! Because it got cut off! Where do you feel the pain Safiya,_ **_where’s the pa_** _-”_

_“In the place where the bloody stump is Colleen now go to sleep.”_

_“... Oh yeah, okay thanks Saf. You’re the best...”_

_“... Thanks Colleen.”_

_…_

_“I wubba dub duck-”_

_“Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.”_

_-_

_“Saf… Saaaaaaaf… Ba-”_

_“Yes Colleen?”_

_“If you were alone on a desert island, what would you bring with you?”_

_“God Colleen it’s late.”_

_“Pleeeeeeease?”_

_“Fine, a distress beacon.”_

_“... And if we were on the island_ **_alone_** _?”_

_“A stove, in case I had to eat you alive.”_

_“...”_

_“Good night Colleen-”_

_“What kind of eat?”_

_“That’s it I’m getting water-”_

_“_ **_Warmth no!_** _”_

- 

Recovery- if she could even call it that- was a long process. Colleen spent most of her time on edge, tense like disaster was looming over her at all times. She'd planned out each of her days, having several alarms and reminders for each upcoming event. On the rare occasion she did miss something, she'd be up late at night apologizing for every mistake, even the ones she couldn't have controlled, through choked up sobs, leaving Safiya to softly brush the tear-tangled clumps of hair out of the girl's face, while she attempted to rock her gently back to sleep. There were some things you just couldn't plan for. They'd gotten stuck in an elevator last week, needless to say, it wasn't a nice experience for either of them. Small, closed spaces never were.

Normal occurrences became triggers to nightmares. Matt had called it “catastrophizing”, imagining the worst case scenario for even the most minor accidents.

That's just what Colleen did. _It wasn't like she was much different._

Safiya couldn’t count the number of nights she’s spent staring at the ceiling, running through every choice she made that night, over and over in her mind. The first hour was blurry, a mix of her heartbeat spiking as the clowns appeared, turning a thriving carnival into a ghost town. The rest…

 _Hour two._ She saved Teala, and in turn, killed Jc.

 _Hour three._ She witnessed the unthinkable.

 _Hour four._ She failed to bring her team to victory.

 _Hour five._ She found out that justice didn’t exist here.

 _Hour six._ She saw a broken smile become a suicide.

 _Hour seven._ She almost died. She-

 

_Rosanna was too far away. All they could do was stand there._

_Colleen’s nails dug into her wrist, the girl’s tears seeping into the collar of her jacket and turtleneck, the liquid darkening the red material a colour not so different from the fresh blood now Rosanna’s dress as Willy carelessly sauntered away. Safiya couldn’t move, she couldn’t scream, she couldn’t-_

 

Everything just went numb.

Matt keeps telling her that’s when she lost herself to logic. Each time she never knows _quite_ what he means.

 _Hour eight._ She solved puzzles, and she survived.  

 _Hour nine._ Murder.

 

 _That's what she was. A_ **_murderer_** _._

 _It was her or Joey. The choice seemed clear. Did she want to survive? Yes. Did she have the choice to survive? Yes. Could bringing him down now end this night? Or nights to come? Twenty-One Youtubers were now_ **_dead_** _, fifteen over the course of the prior two years, six more tonight. All called to their deaths by the man standing mere meters away from her._

_Logically, it's simple. There's a gun in her hand and she needs to use it. She takes action or she watches herself become just another casualty._

_But it isn't all logic. She can feel her heart screaming at her from down in her chest, tightening its grip on her lungs, panic welling up in her throat._

_She needs to do_ **_something_** _._

_It's simple._

_It's the logical thing to do._

_Without missing a beat she raises the gun, and pulls the trigger._

_The recoil jolts through her arm, and the weapon drops to the floor. Five bullets left, the missing one now lodged in Joey Graceffa's chest._

_She knows she should be hearing screams, she can see Matt complete the artifact in the corner of her eye, Lucy disintegrating into dust like any other foe they've faced._

_Everything's gone silent, but a single thought runs through her mind._

_She must have hit his heart._

 

-

_“Safiya?”_

Even the softest of whispers managed to take her out of her thoughts, a welcome distraction from her regular late-night mental loop.

_“Mhmm?”_

“You shouldn’t still be awake.”

“You know I can’t help it.”

“Still… Do you want to talk?”

“ _Colleen-_ ”

“I know, you don’t like to talk, it’s just… Saf, this happens too often. You just lie there, staring at nothing. You really worry me sometimes.”

Safiya held back the blunt comments forming in her throat, taking deep breaths instead, the air rattling in shallow waves through her lungs.

She rolled over, lying on her side to face Colleen, warm brown eyes nervously staring back into her own.

“You don’t need to be worried about me Colleen, I’m fine.”

“Fine my ass. I want to help you, you know? Please, _please_ talk to me, Saf-”

“ _Hey, hey, hey…_ ”

Her voice dropped to a hushed whisper, a soft smirk brushing across her face as she leaned towards her partner, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

_“Safiya-”_

_“Mhmm..?”_

She could hear Colleen take in a shallow hiss of air as she trailed kisses down the girl’s neck, grazing across her collarbone.

“Right- Saf- okay, _nope_.”

She was reluctantly tugged away as Colleen took her face in her hands.

“You can’t just do that every time I ask you to talk about your feelings.”

“You didn’t say that on Tuesday.”

“Oh my god Saf- christ, please take this seriously.”

“Sorry.”

She knew that look. Each time Colleen tried to get a word out of her she could feel herself curling back inside her brain, shutting her out. All she could do was pull her companion into a close embrace, what was left of her emotions trying to express what logic could never quite say.

“You're too nice to me Colleen.”

“No, I'm not, you just don't want me to be nice to you. I'm just stubborn.”

“... Thank you for being stubborn then.”

“You know me, I don't give up without a fight.”

“Colleen, yesterday you threw the butter on the floor and _damned it to hell_ because it was too cold to spread properly.”

“I'm _human_ , Nygaard.”

 -

If it weren't for the fact she was already awake, she would've been even more pissed at her alarm waking her up at god knows what hour in the morning.

It took her at least a thirty seconds, along with the tune of _ABBA's Dancing Queen_ and a familiar face on the screen, to realize it wasn't her alarm.

It was a phone call.

 _Matt_.

She grimaced, hitting answer and bringing the phone to her ear, shutting her eye tight to avoid the brightness of the screen.

“What do you want Matt?”

_“Someone seems antsy.”_

“It's like two in the morning, this had better be something good.”

_“Three twenty-seven.”_

“Close enough.”

_“Anyway- you might want to put this on speaker, so Colleen can hear me as well”_

“Why would you think Colleen was here?”

As if on cue, Safiya felt the arm around her waist tighten, and nose poking at her shoulder.

“Who is it?”

“... Okay, you're on speaker.”

She set the phone on the pillow, slipping her now free hand into Colleen's.

_“Okay, so you know that crystal? The blue one the society pointed me to? I think it's a way of bringing them back. Jc, Nikita, Teala, Roi, Ro, Manny, Joey… But not just them, the YouTubers who went missing the two years before. Everyone… But I can't do it alone. I've tried to contact the other survivors but I'll need you too.”_

Silence hung in the air. The younger girl gently turned to prop herself up on her elbows, gazing down at the figure beside her. Colleen's stare was fixed upon the small screen, with an expression that Safiya just couldn't read, but when those eyes met hers…

A look brimming with blinding hope and pure terror looked up at her, pleading her both to say something or just hang up. Trying to give Safiya some kind of answer.

Sometimes words don't need to be spoken.

Sometimes just being there is enough…

…

“We're in."

**Author's Note:**

> Welp, this was surprisingly interesting to write in a general mood slump, but I hope it came out okay <3
> 
> Please feel free to comment, because I love hearing from you guys, and it makes me happy.
> 
> And I like being happy.
> 
> Happy Birdy.


End file.
